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Pacing the Ongoing Reality

A good tool to use for instant rapport, especially when approaching (as you need to overcome her possible cautiousness about you and do it fast) is


pacing the ongoing reality. What this means, is describing both the very recent (for example her having been idle and you having approached her), ongoing (you talking to her and her being pleasantly surprised) and near future events (her feeling good about getting to know a handsome stranger like you) in a pleasant, humorous and believeable manner. Here's a modified example originated by Clifford in Clifford's Seductin newsletter. It starts out with some basic approaching elements (pardoning, complimenting her, offering your name), which are sometimes frowned upon by more experienced PUA-s (see "Complimenting her", "Neghits" and "Should I offer my name?" for more information on why), but the ensuing pacing of ongoing reality creates an overall pleasant atmosphere of honesty, simplicity and sincerity, which is often almost impossible to resist:) The modified example pacing by Clifford, Clifford's Seduction newsletter:

"Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt you [drinking coffee / reading the newspaper / waiting for the commuter / your train of thought], but I just wanted to tell you that I find you very attractive and wanted to meet you. My name is Rick, what's yours?" [Here comes the pacing] "You know, you never know when something wonderful is about to happen, like you could find yourself [in the cafe / in the waiting-hall / sitting on the bench / whereever] just thinking about [eating another donut / what time the commuter arrives / whatever she's doing or expecting to happen], and the next thing you know an attractive stranger is talking to you, and as you listen to him you may notice that even though [you've never seen him before / you've seen him before at this bus-stop / you've met him before here in this library], somehow today, because he is talking to you, you may see him in a new and different way. Can you imagine that?"

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